Turn hibernation into rejuvenation!

By Lenore Pranzo

I was thinking about hibernation recently with the cold temperatures here in the U.S. Northeast.  It made me think of how easy it is to block off the world during the winter.  Why not?  It gets dark so early, the day is over at 5:00, right?  For those experiencing infertility this could be helpful.  You can take that need to hunker down and use it to renew, restore and rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit.  I want to apologize to all those in the Southern hemisphere and in warm climates.  This need to hibernate may not be as strong for you as the days are warm, however, my suggestions will be helpful if you need a little tiramisu (“pick me up” for those unfamiliar with the meaning of the name of that decadent dessert).  Here are a few ideas:

Create a small winter goal.  To do this you might need time and space.  Give yourself 5-10 minutes to reflect on the year and get an idea of what you might still want to do.  Brainstorm or use a meditation to clear your mind and envision what you see yourself doing over the next three months.  Go to the meditations page on our website for a generic meditation (www.fertilitywellnessgroup.com/meditations).  Remember to think of something that really feeds your soul or nourishes your body.  These examples may not fit with you and your goals, however, you’ll get the idea.

Here are a few examples:

• What is all this fuss about Buddhism?  Maybe I could take some time to learn about it and then apply the learning.
• This winter will be about me.  I will learn how to say “no” more often.
• I haven’t sketched in months.  I will buy new art supplies and spend the winter revitalizing my artistic side.
• I will create a reading list that does not include a single fertility book!  The theme will be travel, romance, or mysteries.
• I will reduce my sugar intake one teaspoon at a time.  I will list all the ways I consume sugar and create a weekly plan.
• I will increase my plant-based meals to 2x a week.

Tease out how to make this goal or goals happen.  This is often the hardest part.  Who hasn’t set the same New Year’s resolution year after year?  Okay, I just put my hand up.  It comes down to breaking the goal into smaller parts and anticipating any barriers.  Let’s take the “I will increase my plant-based meals to 2x a week” example and break it down this way:

• Find a plant-based cookbook or website
• Tag all the interesting recipes
• Put them in the calendar through the winter
• Research local farms with winter product or a winter farmer’s market
• Make the shopping fun by discussing my goal with vendors, take note of any advice
• After a month of trying this I will see if there are any recipes I would like to repeat
• What might get in the way? How will I deal with this?
• Who might get in the way or not be helpful?  How can I explain it to them that this is what I need right now?

Now make it happen!  Tell as many people as you wish about what you will be doing.  This makes it real.  It also gets you really excited to report your progress.  Or you can keep it to yourself and pat yourself on the back at night for fulfilling your needs.  Meditate daily or every few days with the vision of your mind, body and soul getting nourishment from the successful implementation of your plan.  When spring arrives you will be pleasantly surprised at how much you accomplished.  You might find that you are thinking about infertility a little less.  You might also find yourself not needing that New Year’s resolution as you will be on your way to completing it.

Lenore Pranzo is a CT Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Hypnotherapist, and co-founder of Fertility Wellness Group, LLC. Fertility Wellness Group, LLC offers on-line fertility enhancing workshops and private coaching sessions that will help empower women to write about their own fertility struggles, which will lead to positive endings. You can learn more about Lenore and Fertility Wellness Group, LLC at http://www.fertilitywellnessgroup.com.

Should I take the summer off?

Written by Lenore Pranzo

A week into summer and, as I am starting to enjoy the idea of fewer scheduled activities, I remember what it was like to begin the summer during my fertility journey years.  It was always a dilemma.  “Should I slow down and relax?” or “Should I dive into another cycle, medication or natural?”  Knowing that feeling, that if I wasn’t doing something to try and get pregnant, then I would think it was a waste of time.  I wonder how many are considering taking the summer off, yet are so wrapped up in the timeline, they are worried they might miss an opportunity to start another cycle.

How can someone really embrace the power of the slow-paced summer or any time off, for that matter?  As I was discussing this with our on-line group recently, I realized it needs to be a goal.  Making it a goal, as part of the fertility journey and one that will enhance your chances, should make it more palatable.  So get out a piece of paper or your laptop and write down that goal.   Here is an example:

Goal: Take the summer off from trying to get pregnant.

Step 1: Discuss with partner that I am taking a break and discuss any disagreement with the notion that this will help our end goal.

Step 2: Make quick list of activities that I have been putting off for fertility.

Step 3: Schedule one activity in my calendar.

Step 4: Continue to schedule that activity for rest of “break” time frame, if it is enjoyable.

Step 5: Remember when thoughts come up about trying to get pregnant, tell myself that I am on a break and that this break is part of the process.

Making that break a part of your fertility plan might be the key to really enjoying yourself and your partner again.  This will give you time to reconnect with who you are and who you are in your relationship.  Use whatever you can to remind yourself that this break is important and is helping you obtain your goal of growing your family (examples: sticky notes everywhere, a new bracelet that anchors you to that or a nightly journal where you write it at the top of the page).  Here’s to a summer filled with new discoveries.

Lenore Pranzo is a CT Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and co-founder of Fertility Wellness Group.  Fertility Wellness Group offers on-line fertility enhancing workshops that will help empower women to write about their own fertility struggles which will lead to positive endings.  You can learn more about them at www.fertilitywellnessgroup.com.